Echo/Crossed Out Name/Dreaming Against Me

Unbeknownst to so many of us, there is a force out there that seems to guide us on a path we don't understand.  It leads us on every action we partake, it leads us every person we meet, and it even makes me write things that even I don't understand (take this blog, for instance).

This crazy unforeseen "force" that I speak of could be explained away through connecting seemingly meaningful coincidences.  It's because of this mystical guiding entity that I reflect upon things that mean nothing to so many others, yet such trivialities mean so much to me.  

At the end of the year, I'll be waxing philosophical on the same things as always: 

1.)  My top songs of the year.

2.)  Dumbest Dodger moment of the year.  Actually, come to think of it... that's not necessary.  Let's just all agree that Andruw Jones didn't live up to the hype.

3.)  Movie of the year.

4.) Etc. etc. (the "potpourri" category/ies).

Compared to 2007, 2008 found me on a profound upswing.  I left Chico in the dust towards the end of last year, and started to find a better me because of it.

This year I met a few people that, even though I don't see them much, have had a tremendous positive influence on me.  I can't say that I've met a single person that really brought me down (there were a few pockets of doubt here and there, but live and let live, right?).  There were people that I reconnected with and now consider amongst my closest friends.  There was even a scrotum-punching 3 year-old second cousin that drove me insane but captured my heart.

I've had moments of growling, chest-beating machismo that was confused by so many as a level of arrogance that no one ever thought possible from me.  You know what though?  Arrogance?  You're right.  But it was earned.  I'm awesome.  I think this year proved it.  I dropped 80 pounds in 8 months (I've gained about 12 back in the seesaw that is my resolve to stay at the gym, but I'm going to piece it all back together soon... or die trying!).

And lest we forget that some people even think that I can cook now (I guess that little thing called a "degree" points in that direction, right?).

I think that this year is marked by personal achievement.  Above all, however, I give thanks to the people that lifted me up this year.  Some hail from Santa Monica or Malibu and encourage me to stay awesome everyday; these are friends that for some reason or another accept me at my strangest and they even accepted me at my fattest.  A few of these friends hailed from Orange County and livened my weekends up for a while this year--for a few fleeting weekends and some random events, they made 100 miles feel like 5--they overlooked my quirky, endearing awkward behavior and humored my need to have an ear to spout nuggets of nothingness into.

So here I sit, caffeine-stained shivers and all, bemused at the mistaken emptiness that I can't quite make into a useful thought.

Scene after scene passes by my life

The window's a wound, the road is a knife

The irony, ask me, 'where have you been?'

I don't know, I don't know

Because I don't know where to begin....

Sur Les Cendres

I am officially on my way to my career in the kitchen.

True story.

True awesome story.

It will be legendary.

And, to top it off, I set TiVo to record the newest episode of How I Met Your Mother, "The Bracket".

THAT was awesome.

Not Exactly Normal (Sharing A Food Idea)

Okay, so I'm working on some simple twice-baked potatoes.

What I'm using:

 

-18 potatoes (not a joke)

-2 whole sticks of UNSALTED butter

-pepper (enough to taste)

-shredded chedder and jack cheese (about 16 oz.)

-Chardonnay oak smoked sea salt (the aroma alone makes it worth while)

-several sprigs fresh thyme

-1 tablespoon crushed rosemary (use a bit more if it's fresh!)

Steps:

1. Wash potatoes

2. Bake them at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes

3. Take potatoes out, cut them open length-wise (about 1/3 of the way towards the center of each potato).

4. Scoop out most of the insides, leaving a little of the insides.

5. Put insides (and the cut-off parts) into a bowl, along with the butter, pepper, salt, and other ingredients (except the cheese).  Mix.

6. Scoop mixture back into potato hulls, top each potato with some of the shredded cheese.

7. Bake until the cheese has melted.

Pretty damn spiffy (and the 18 potatoes is an awfully large amount, obviously use less if you're only cooking for a few people--1 potato per person, perhaps?). 

Enjoy it.

The Thomas Jane Factor

Baby, just burn.....

Yeah.  I'm hopped-up on straight-firing adrenaline after stepping on the scale this morning.  I've dropped another few pounds, reaching 176 pounds.  This means that I have come within 16 pounds of my "goal".  My brother is encouraging me to reach into the depths of my resolve in order to go the extra mile--why not shoot for an even healthier 150 pounds?  I think I can do that.

After I hit the ground with my weight-loss, it will be time to maintain.... and possibly develop the Thomas Jane "Punisher" physique.  THAT would be me in ABSOLUTELY amazing shape.  I can fucking do it.  I can push myself to destroy..... OBLITERATE.... the little wimp that I was for the last 2 years.

Don't give me oil, just gasoline!

I just got back from one of the toughest cardio sessions at the gym that I've ever pushed myself to go through.  I started sweating about 6 minutes in, and didn't stop for an hour.  I wouldn't be surprised if I sweated off a pound.  I did, however, notice that I got way too involved in pushing myself.... nearly to the point of my heart giving out....  I need to keep a more watchful eye on that.  I know that I've done longer sessions of cardio, but this session... this was so high impact!!!

Baby, just burn!

See what happens when you start going to the gym!??!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

That's right....  start me up, I'll never stop.  

Plastic California

I'll never understand being part of a possessive relationship (although one might argue that I was a bit possessive of Ashley, I think that that notion waned over time due to the fact that she turned me into a pathetic mess).  Personal freedom is a great and wonderful thing, and restricting friends because of gender?  That's just plain idiotic.

Not that anyone in such a relationship is a bad person, but what is it that pushes someone to stay in such a predicament?  Oh, I'm sure love is there, but if someone loves you, they won't get angry/jealous/possessive of you being around someone else.

Christ, all I wanted to do is hang out.... and I got shot down because of the whole jealous boyfriend factor (if you ever read this, yeah.... you're one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, but it isn't difficult for me to say that and do nothing other than hang out).  Shrug it off.  I'm always ready and willing to hang out, so if the situation changes, I'll gladly be up for it.  Until then, my opinion is that you should dump his ass if he really is that way.  

"You got to get up, and climb that hill again" -Tom Petty

That should be a new mantra for me.  It works on so many levels.  Gym, women, culinary, life....

Get Up And Climb That Hill Again....

What is it that kills my motivation (I guess this is more of a continuance of the last entry)?

I haven't been to the gym in just over a week.... I've still lost a pound with little effort (if you can believe it), and right now I'm trying to gather the strength to get off my dead ass and actually go do some cardio!

At least it will be much easier in three days or so, after I have gone every day up to that point.  Then, the gym will be a drug again.

Ugh.... this is going to be dreadful, but worth it.  Especially tomorrow, my "marathon" day.

I'm Alright (You Gotta Go There To Come Back)

 Ahhhh, capricious youth.  Something I don't quite remember ever touching on.

Instead, I seem to lead a boring life peppered with the infidelities of a few surprising little actions..... I don't really see it as being some complex dichotomy of self, just a way to describe the little hiccups that seem to create an illusion of splendor.

So... in other words, I'm going to go back to my boring-ass life and play a little bit of the ol' Lunar:  Silver Star Story Complete on my PS2, go to sleep with an unfulfilled expectation that I might take a *crossing fingers* good "new" friend to a concert tomorrow night (as I shamelessly keep my phone within the waiting grasp of my all-to-eager hands for her call), and wake up with the urge to spend more than six hours at the gym tomorrow morning.

Where does my ambition go sometimes?

Needless

I had the energy to write in this a little while ago, but that has since left my body.

When it returns, I'll write.

To Vote Or Not To Vote....

Hey.

How about a news blackout on who is leading in the polls for tomorrow?

I didn't think so....

Mostly because John Edwards is out of the race, I have a lot less enthusiasm for the whole ordeal... but I'll still vote.

A small part of me wishes that I was I registered Republican because it is a lot easier to vote for John McCain with a clear conscience over Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee.  I seem to be tackled by factions of Obama supporters or Hillary supports if I say anything positive about the other.

Disclaimer/Oscar Rant

From time to time, you will read an opinion in my blog that you disagree with.  If that is the case, you could do many things about it:

1.)  Politely disagree, and debate me in some pointless internet banter.

2.)  Shove it up your ass.

3.)  Politely disagree, and keep quiet.

But that's just my opinion, I could try stealing a line from Dennis Miller.

Here is something that has been bugging me the last couple of days:

The new television ad for the movie, Atonement.  It looks like a profoundly decent film, and everywhere I turn, I hear and read good things about it....  but that television ad?  I may not be a marketing kind of person, but I do not believe that some stupid Timbaland produced track compliments a period romantic drama.  I fail to see how One Republic's "Apologize" fits with the mood of the film (granted, I have not seen the movie).  If I were to create a commercial for the film, I would have scored it without a hip-hop beat.

But I digress.  The music I listen to is not what the mainstream listens to.  My niche seems to be people stuck in a nostalgia for flannel shirts, converse sneakers, and a greater yearning for lyrical poetry than a bouncy beat.

In response to my friend and colleague Stephani Tobin, I think that the Oscar nominations this year are a total crock of shit.

Yes, I think that No Country For Old Men and Juno are duly recognized (nominating Juno for best picture is a bit of a stretch, however), yes, Casey Affleck is finally getting some recognition for his acting abilities (scoring the Best Supporting nod), and yes, that ass Michael Moore made another "fact-based" "Oscar-worthy" documentary (italicized print for loose meanings).

But to me, this year was the year of Into The Wild.  Remove yourself from the notion that the real Christopher McCandless was a bit "nuts", and come into the romanticized vision that Sean Penn masterfully conjured up.  This little film about a young idealist broken from his disdain for society was the year's ABSOLUTE best.  

What happened to the Oscar chances for Into The Wild?  In place of Juno's nod for best picture, there should be Into The Wild sitting atop the pinnacle.  In place of Jason Reitman's directorial nod should be Sean Penn, a visionary at the craft.  In place of AT LEAST one song from Disney's Enchanted, should be one of the emotionally moving pieces that Eddie Vedder contributed to Into The Wild (however, I am glad to find that Glen Hansard's "Falling Slowly" got a nod for Once). 

 As far as the acting from Into The Wild goes, Hal Holbrook deserves the nod he got (his portrayel of Ron Franz broke my heart... the way it should have been).  But where is Emile Hirsch's nod for best actor?  Stephani, I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you in your thinking that Tommy Lee Jones "slipped" past Emile Hirsch... I think that the Academy DOES play favorites year to year, and I think that the critical buzz for No Country For Old Men overshadowed Into The Wild, thus allowing Hirsch to be overlooked (an injustice).

Nearly every year that I have paid attention to the Oscars, I have agreed with a majority of the choices.  This is the first year that a film's obvious snubbing has put me off to the point of changing the channel when the awards are on.

Once again, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Introduction

This is the first blog on Blogspot for myself.

Expect more in the future, but do not expect a lot out of me.