This crazy unforeseen "force" that I speak of could be explained away through connecting seemingly meaningful coincidences. It's because of this mystical guiding entity that I reflect upon things that mean nothing to so many others, yet such trivialities mean so much to me.
At the end of the year, I'll be waxing philosophical on the same things as always:
1.) My top songs of the year.
2.) Dumbest Dodger moment of the year. Actually, come to think of it... that's not necessary. Let's just all agree that Andruw Jones didn't live up to the hype.
3.) Movie of the year.
4.) Etc. etc. (the "potpourri" category/ies).
Compared to 2007, 2008 found me on a profound upswing. I left Chico in the dust towards the end of last year, and started to find a better me because of it.
This year I met a few people that, even though I don't see them much, have had a tremendous positive influence on me. I can't say that I've met a single person that really brought me down (there were a few pockets of doubt here and there, but live and let live, right?). There were people that I reconnected with and now consider amongst my closest friends. There was even a scrotum-punching 3 year-old second cousin that drove me insane but captured my heart.
I've had moments of growling, chest-beating machismo that was confused by so many as a level of arrogance that no one ever thought possible from me. You know what though? Arrogance? You're right. But it was earned. I'm awesome. I think this year proved it. I dropped 80 pounds in 8 months (I've gained about 12 back in the seesaw that is my resolve to stay at the gym, but I'm going to piece it all back together soon... or die trying!).
And lest we forget that some people even think that I can cook now (I guess that little thing called a "degree" points in that direction, right?).
I think that this year is marked by personal achievement. Above all, however, I give thanks to the people that lifted me up this year. Some hail from Santa Monica or Malibu and encourage me to stay awesome everyday; these are friends that for some reason or another accept me at my strangest and they even accepted me at my fattest. A few of these friends hailed from Orange County and livened my weekends up for a while this year--for a few fleeting weekends and some random events, they made 100 miles feel like 5--they overlooked my quirky, endearing awkward behavior and humored my need to have an ear to spout nuggets of nothingness into.
So here I sit, caffeine-stained shivers and all, bemused at the mistaken emptiness that I can't quite make into a useful thought.
Scene after scene passes by my life
The window's a wound, the road is a knife
The irony, ask me, 'where have you been?'
I don't know, I don't know
Because I don't know where to begin....
